View From The Trenches

Car Accidents, Autism Diagnoses, and Why I Almost Closed the Doors for Good

What’s up, my beautiful squad? Welcome back.

If you’ve already tuned into the Season 5 premiere of Skirts Up, you know things look and sound a little bit different around here. Riding solo at the microphone this season is a whole new vibe, and I’m not going to lie—it feels a little awkward. But even though the dynamic has shifted, let’s get one thing straight: the energy, the raw honesty, and the absolute messiness of real life are staying exactly the same. When I say "we" are back, I mean me and you. We are a team, and I am so incredibly grateful you’re still riding this ride with me.

Can we talk about the "break" between seasons for a second? Because calling it a break is the biggest joke of the century. For me, it felt like anything but a rest. I was strapped into an absolute emotional rollercoaster, dealing with things that completely shook my mental stability.

First, the phone call every wife absolutely dreads. I was sitting in a nail salon, completely oblivious because I didn’t have cell service, while my family was frantically trying to reach me. My husband, Simon, was in a horrific car accident. He was sitting at a red light, it turned green, the two cars in front of him went, and as he proceeded, a Jeep blew through the intersection going 65 miles per hour and T-boned him right on the driver’s side tire.

Walking into that hospital room and seeing him in a neck brace was traumatizing. Thankfully, he is okay—he survived. But the doctors dropped a nugget that absolutely haunted me: if that Jeep had hit him just a few inches later, it would have been catastrophic. I wasn't even in the car, but knowing how close I came to losing my husband stirred up a wave of panic attacks that I’ve been quietly working through ever since. (Leave it to our four-year-old, Nora, to be the ultimate icebreaker, though. Every time someone asks how we're doing, she yells, "I said we are not talking about the accident anymore!" and we all just start laughing.)

And speaking of Nora... we finally got our answers.

Toward the end of last season, we started having the conversation about the potential that she might be on the spectrum. During the break, we went through the grueling testing process. I’m going to be completely honest with you—I have no idea what the official difference is between a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a therapist, but the evaluator was incredibly nice. I sat there pouring my heart out about the worst of our days: the extreme meltdowns when routines change, the screaming matches in the summer because "her back is sweaty" from a warm car, and the days where she is just grumpy about everything.

At one point, I started over-analyzing myself. I told the evaluator, "Look, I’m just reporting the worst parts. I don't want you to diagnose her just because I'm being spot-on or negative. I want this to be legit." She looked at me and said, "Samantha, have you noticed that since you've been in this room, every single toy Nora touches, she smells it, licks it, or twists it into her hair?" I was floored. I looked over, and yep—she was doing exactly that. She was lining up her toys in a perfect, specific line, and demanding that if anyone played with her, they had to play "the right way" (which is whatever way is currently living in her brilliant little head).

A week ago, the results came back: Level 2 Autism and ADHD. The ADHD is zero surprise—you can tell that within five seconds of meeting her. But the autism diagnosis brought this massive wave of relief, paired with a lot of internal confusion. Nothing changes about who she is, but now I have the books and resources to figure out how to handle the emotional storm of her meltdowns without constantly feeling like I'm failing as a mom.

With all of this crashing down on me, I hit a massive wall.

I started my wellness practice, Sweet Soul Wellness, back in January on my birthday. I’ve been working so hard to build it, focusing heavily on helping people with Functional Neurologic Disorder (FND)—a condition I personally survived and completely healed from using Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT). Because RTT gave me my life back after suffering from non-epileptic seizures, I was so excited to bring this tool to the clinical world. I joined networking groups with therapists, psychiatrists, and neurologists, thinking, "Man, this is going to be so easy! We can bridge the gap when talk therapy hits a wall."

Well, it did not go well.

Instead of open arms, I was met with explicit unwelcomeness. I received hateful, mean messages from therapists telling me there were no studies proving RTT works for FND, telling me I didn't belong in their space because I didn't have their specific degrees. I ended up getting kicked out of the groups.

Between the car accident, the diagnosis, and getting slammed into by the clinical community, I went into a deep, dark spiral. I felt like a failure. I was questioning every decision I’ve ever made. I wanted to shut Sweet Soul Wellness down, and I wanted to cancel Skirts Up forever. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and give up.

But then, I looked at a couple of articles I had written about what it feels like to live in a body and a life where you don't like who you are, and how possible it is to change into someone you love. The hits and messages flooded in. Everyday women—moms and business owners just like you and me—started reaching out saying, "Hold up, I feel like I've taken care of everyone else and completely lost myself. When was the last time I actually felt pure joy?"

That was my turning point. I realized I don't need the approval of people who want to put me in a box.

I’m stepping into a brand-new title that I completely made up, but it fits perfectly: I am an Inner Foundation Coach. I am not here to teach you how to endlessly manage or cope with your stress and burnout. I am here for the women who would literally laugh out loud if you asked them when they last felt pure, unfiltered joy. I am here to help you look at the parts of yourself you don't like, dismantle the negative beliefs, remove the subconscious blocks, and turn you into an absolute badass who loves who she sees in the mirror.

We owe it to ourselves as women to reclaim our peace, our confidence, and our internal foundation.

I survived the rollercoaster of this break, and I am standing firmly on the bedrock of who I am supposed to be. Season 5 is going to get messy, it’s going to get deep, it's going to get incredibly personal, and apparently—according to our ratings—we are diving headfirst into female pleasure exploration later this year, which I am absolutely here for!

Thank you for riding solo with me today and letting me catch you up on the chaos. Make sure you come back next week, because we have a powerhouse, empire-building guest who dropped three specific phrases into my life that completely pulled me out of my dark night of the soul. You are going to leave that episode feeling unstoppable.

Until next week... Skirts up, but keep your panties on!

With so much love,

Samantha Mandell