Between the Sheets: The Shit Nobody Taught Us About Sex, Pleasure & Our Own Bodies
Dr. Stephanie Zwanitzer
There was a time in my life when simply talking about sex could make me cry.
Not because anything terrible was happening.
Just because someone would ask:
“What do you like?”
And my brain would basically blue-screen.
I DON'T KNOW. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?
Fast-forward to me now, casually sitting behind a microphone discussing hormones, jealousy, non-traditional relationships, orgasms, lube, cuckolding and whether seven people in one bed is your personal boundary.
Growth is weird.
And this conversation with Stephanie Zwanitzer — urology and sexual medicine nurse practitioner, founder of Revive Institute of Sexual Health, and host of Between the Sheets — reminded me just how much my own thinking has changed.
Maybe There Isn't One “Right” Way
My husband and I have a non-traditional relationship.
That is something I can say now without immediately wanting to provide a PowerPoint explaining why our marriage is still valid.
But a few years ago?
I absolutely carried some version of:
Relationships are supposed to look one certain way.
And honestly, I don't think I consciously chose that belief.
Sometimes you're simply raised seeing one version of love, marriage and sex, so you assume that version is the version.
Then one day you realize there are about 47 other doors in the hallway.
Stephanie and I talked about jealousy because I used to assume people in non-traditional relationships had somehow reached Olympic-level emotional enlightenment and simply… didn't get jealous.
Wrong.
Jealousy can still happen.
Meanwhile, my husband is almost annoyingly non-jealous.
There have been moments where I've thought:
Why do you not care?! Do you even love me?!
Because somewhere along the way, I had connected jealousy with love.
Possessiveness with importance.
And maybe those things aren't actually the same.
That was one of those little moments where I realized how many rules we follow simply because nobody ever told us we were allowed to question them.
Boundaries Start With Knowing Yourself
This was one of my favorite points Stephanie made.
We talk constantly about having boundaries.
But first?
You have to actually know yourself.
What feels good?
What doesn't?
What makes you curious?
What makes your entire body say, “Absolutely not”?
Maybe your boundary is one partner.
Maybe somebody else's boundary is:
“Fuck it. Let's have seven people in bed.”
The point isn't whose boundary is “better.”
The point is knowing yours.
And then communicating it.
Stephanie also made the very reasonable suggestion that conversations about sex and boundaries should happen outside the bedroom.
Because naked and emotionally vulnerable may not be the ideal time to hear:
“I don't like that.”
Our brains can very quickly turn that into:
“You don't like me.”
So maybe it's over coffee.
“Last night was hot. That one thing? Not my favorite. Let's skip it next time.”
Simple.
Clear.
No emotional crime scene required.
Then My Own Sexual History Suddenly Made More Sense
We got into stress, nervous systems and desire.
Stephanie explained that for many women, desire is responsive.
Meaning you may not randomly walk through Target thinking:
I NEED SEX IMMEDIATELY.
Something may need to happen first.
Connection.
Touch.
A flirty text.
Erotica.
Relaxation.
Your brain finally shutting the hell up.
And then she explained how hard it can be to access pleasure when you're living in fight-or-flight.
That's when I challenged her.
Because during one period of my life, the more unsafe I felt in a relationship, the more conflict there was, the more everything felt like it was falling apart…
…the more I wanted sex.
A lot.
Sex was the thing that felt good when everything else felt terrible.
Stephanie reframed that as a possible trauma response.
My body may have been reaching for something pleasurable to balance all the bad.
And I had one of those:
Ohhhhh.
moments.
Suddenly something I had judged or misunderstood about myself made sense.
And that's really becoming a theme for me:
What happens when we stop asking,
“What is wrong with me?”
and start asking,
“What is my body trying to do for me?”
Also, Our Hormones Are Out Here Causing Chaos
We've talked a lot this season about hormones, and this conversation took it straight into sex.
The kind of touch you want can change throughout your cycle.
Your libido can change.
How much pressure feels good can change.
And then perimenopause enters the chat.
One week:
Come here, sexy.
Next week:
Why are you breathing so loudly?
Touch me.
Don't touch me.
Hold me.
Actually, go over there.
And if nobody understands that these shifts can be physiological, both partners can start creating terrible stories.
“She doesn't want me anymore.”
“He doesn't turn me on.”
“Something is wrong with me.”
Maybe.
Or maybe hormones are just being hormones.
Understanding your body gives you the chance to communicate instead of catastrophize.
And Then We Got to the Clitoris
This was the part where my brain left the building.
Stephanie explained how much of the clitoris is actually internal.
And I was basically like:
Excuse me?
I have owned this body for DECADES.
I have birthed children.
Gone to gynecologists.
Had sex.
Hosted a female empowerment podcast.
And I'm still sitting here going:
“Wait… THAT'S what it looks like?”
Why do women own the equipment without receiving the owner's manual?
We learn plenty about periods.
Pregnancy.
Birth control.
Reproduction.
Don't get pregnant.
Get pregnant.
Have babies.
Fine.
But pleasure?
Arousal?
How our bodies physically respond to sex?
Suddenly the educational system gets real shy.
And that's what pissed me off a little.
Not because every doctor should specialize in sexual medicine.
But because most women don't even know that this kind of specialty exists.
Pleasure Isn't Extra Credit
I think this may have been my biggest takeaway.
Female pleasure has been treated like dessert.
Nice if you get it.
Not essential.
Maybe a little indulgent.
Definitely don't talk about it too loudly.
But sexual health is still health.
Pain matters.
Arousal matters.
Hormones matter.
Pleasure matters.
Understanding your body matters.
Being able to say what you like matters.
Being able to say what you DON'T like matters.
And being curious about yourself without immediately attaching shame to the answer?
That matters too.
I look back at the version of me who cried when someone tried to talk openly about sex.
Now I'm the woman hosting an episode about jealousy, orgasms, hormones, non-traditional relationships and the internal part of the clitoris that I didn't even knew existed.
Do I suddenly know everything?
Absolutely not.
Half this episode was basically me saying:
WAIT. WHAT?!
But maybe empowerment isn't knowing everything.
Maybe it's becoming the woman who is willing to ask.
To question.
To learn.
To change her mind.
To say:
“This works for me.”
“This doesn't.”
“I used to believe that.”
“I don't anymore.”
And my personal favorite:
“I have no fucking idea. Tell me more.”
That, to me, feels a lot like freedom.
So talk about the awkward stuff.
Learn your body.
Ask better questions.
Figure out what feels good.
Change your mind if you want to.
And can somebody please finally make women an owner's manual?
Because apparently there's an entire clitoris situation we should've been briefed on.
Listen to my full conversation with Stephanie Zwanitzer on The Skirts Up Show, and check out her podcast Between the Sheets.
Then send the episode to your girlfriend with:
“DID YOU FUCKING KNOW THIS?!”
Same truth. Same wild ride.
But keep your panties on.
Confessions of an Entrepreneur
We’ve all done it. You get a survey from a doctor’s office or a casual question from an acquaintance, and immediately the internal editor kicks in:
"Do I say I have a glass of wine every night? No, they'll think I have a drinking problem."
"Do I admit I’ve been sad every day for two weeks? No, they’ll think something is deeply wrong with me."
So you soften. You take those sharp, authentic edges, file them down, put on a polite smile, and present the version of yourself you think people want to buy.
When you start a business, that self-editing gets dialed up to eleven. Well-meaning mentors, marketers, and social media strategists step in with wildly conflicting opinions:
Advisor A:"You need to be strict, educational, and super professional so people trust your authority!"
Advisor B:"No, you need to be raw, vulnerable, and show behind-the-scenes content or you'll lose engagement!"
The result? Total creative paralysis.
Erin shared how she used to host "Wigging Out Wednesdays"—a unscripted, hilarious weekly video series that felt fun, creative, and genuinely connected with her audience. But after being told her content needed to be more "educational," she stopped doing it. The moment she tried to fit into the standard corporate mold, the joy vanished, and the social media burnout set in.
The Reality Check: If your marketing forces you to play a character, it isn't sustainable. Your ideal clients aren't looking for a polished, cookie-cutter clone. They’re looking for your exact flavor of weird, honest, and relatable. Sprinkle in the education, sure—but don't kill the magic that made you start in the first place.
The Invisible Identity Crisis: Transitioning from Expert to Unknown
One of the hardest parts of entrepreneurship that nobody warns you about is the sheer ego bruise of starting over.
Erin talked openly about leaving a high-profile career in domestic violence advocacy. In her previous world, she was the go-to authority in the state. People knew her name, respected her expertise, and sought out her counsel. But when she launched her new venture—and changed her last name after getting married—her digital footprint vanished.
Suddenly, searching her name brought up a ski clothing brand instead of her decade of professional accomplishments.
When those initial client slots don't fill up instantly, the spiraling thoughts hit hard:
"Was this a massive mistake?"
"Nobody knows who I am anymore."
"Should I just give up and go get a traditional job again?"
That imposter syndrome thrives on scarcity thinking. When you’re constantly looking for what isn't working, you fall into the Blue/Yellow Trap: if someone tells you to count every blue item in a room for 30 seconds and then asks you how many yellow items you saw, you won't have a clue. You weren't looking for yellow.
Business success requires retraining your brain to count the "yellow"—the small wins, the client breakthroughs, and the foundational growth—rather than obsessing over the missing "blue."
Red Flags in the Coaching Industry: Spotting the Quick-Fix Trap
When you're starting out and desperate for validation (and revenue), you become prime target audience for high-ticket business coaches promising immediate returns.
Erin and I broke down the major warning signs to watch out for which is basically anyone who guarantees specific financial goals ("Make $10k in 30 days!")
The Non-Linear Climb: Why Setbacks Aren't Square One
Progress in business is rarely a straight line heading up. It feels more like climbing a steep, muddy hill—you take three steps up, slip, and slide down a few feet.
But here’s the key mindset shift: When you slide back, you don't fall all the way to the base of the mountain.
Even on the days when you're too exhausted to journal, skip your morning walk, or fall off your social media routine, you still carry the knowledge, strength, and experience you gained on the way up. Slipping up on your routine doesn't mean you've lost yourself; it just means you need a rest day before taking the next step forward. Same with your business.
Fail of the Week: Unfiltered Chaos
To throw it back to old school Skirts Up ways, we wrapped up with our favorite ritual—admitting our biggest fails of the week:
Samantha’s Pig Heist: I bought a baby pig on impulse, built a puppy playpen on the grass, used half-hearted stakes, and called it "good enough." An hour later, the pig had rooted under the fence and vanished. It took 8 people, 5 acres, a soccer net and two hours to finally corner and net one tiny, slippery pig.
Erin’s Massage Chair Debacle: Trying to secretly get rid of her husband’s bulky vintage massage chair while he was at a workshop, Erin hoisted the heavy metal frame—only for it to fold in on itself, trapping her fingers in the metal hinges. Panicking and believing her fingers were literally severed, she screamed for her daughter (who refused to come downstairs thinking the dog had caught a mouse). After freeing her hands, Erin shoved the chair into the dumpster, went to urgent care, put on two splints, and still drove her kids to a Zac Brown concert that night. #dedication #Zac Brown Band
The Bottom Line
Stop trying to build a business that looks like everyone else's. Ditch the rigid scripts, give yourself grace when you slide back down the hill, and for the love of everything, watch your fingers around vintage folding furniture.
My Human Experience
If you caught episode one of this season, you know my husband Simon was in a severe car accident, and we’ve been full-time navigating his doctor appointments, physical therapy, and a completely reinvented day-to-day rhythm. Just as we were catching our breath, the universe apparently looked down and said, “Hold my drink.”
A few weeks ago, in the brand-new car we bought to replace his—before it even had its permanent license plate attached—someone ran a stop sign, T-boned me, and totaled it.
Yep. Another totaled car. I’m currently typing this with a sore neck, slathered in topical muscle relaxers, and wondering what cosmic hitman we accidentally offended. Simon actually asked ChatGPT what the mathematical probability is of totaling the exact same car model three times in a seven-month window. The verdict? One in a billion. So, at this point, we’re either due to win Powerball, or we just need to laugh at the absurd comedy of it all. Because when life throws punches that fast, if you don't laugh, you’ll end up permanently buried under the noise.
To offset the chaos, I did what any logical person would do: I got my hair dyed in radiant purples and pinks (huge shoutout to Marky in Decatur for making me look like a majestic wild unicorn!) and I adopted a five-week-old baby pig.
His name is Lenny. Well, he told me his full name was Leonard, but I can’t be yelling “LEONARD!” across five acres all day, so Lenny it is.
Lenny is adorable, but he served me a massive dose of humility. On his third day with us, I put him in an outdoor playpen so he could get some sun. I checked on him every single hour. Then I had a 90-minute window where I had to run out to pick up the kids from school. I came back, walked outside, and... zero pig.
Leonard “ Lenny”
Cue immediate motherly panic: Did a hawk carry off my baby pig?! Is he dead?! I cannot be the person who loses a baby pig on day three!
What followed was a full two-hour comedy of errors involving eight people—Simon, my neighbor, her kids, and me—sprinting across five acres like headless chickens trying to corner a pig that refused to be caught. Lenny ran the full perimeter of our property twice! By the time we finally surrounded him under the front porch, everyone was sweaty, out of breath, and thoroughly unimpressed. But standing there, covered in Georgia dirt, I had to remind myself: life rarely goes according to your neat little schedule, and sometimes, you just have to chase the pig.
Sliding Into the Dark: The Numbing Weight of Depression
Underneath the car wrecks, the colorful hair, and the farm antics, something much heavier had been quietly brewing. For the last two years, I’ve been on a total life high—loving my work, loving who I was becoming, and enjoying every single minute. But recently, I found myself sliding headfirst into a deep, heavy depressive funk.
Depression doesn’t announce itself with fireworks; it sneaks in on quiet feet. It started with days spent staring at the couch with my laptop open, my brain completely blank. Then low-demand activities started feeling like running a marathon. Watching TV felt exhausting. The background noise felt too loud. I’d find myself randomly crying on the couch without even knowing what I was crying about.
The real wake-up call? Realizing I couldn’t remember the last time I had taken a shower. For someone who is obsessed with being clean and takes baths religiously, that was the mirror slapped right in my face: Whoa, buddy. Something is seriously wrong here.
When you’re sitting in that heavy pit, the mean-girl voice in your head starts chiming in: “Your entire job at Sweet Soul Wellness is helping women step into their power and feel whole. Who on earth is going to trust you to guide them out of their hole when you’re stuck in your own?”
It felt like a total contradiction. But when I stopped spiraling and actually looked at it, I realized: It’s not a contradiction; it’s the human experience. Being a practitioner doesn't make me immune to dark seasons. Taking a wrong turn doesn't mean you're a fraud; it just means you got off track.
When I retraced my steps, I realized I hadn't fallen off a cliff—I had just slowly abandoned the small daily routines that keep me grounded:
Skipping the Pen: Deciding one night I was "too tired" to journal, and then just never picking the pen up again.
Ditching the Movement: Stopping my morning and evening stretches because my body felt heavy, leaving stress trapped in my muscles.
Trading the Woods for Work: Canceling my daily lunch walk in the woods with my dog, Linus, because it "didn't feel productive enough."
Bottling It Up: Deciding my heavy feelings weren't "important enough" to share with Simon because we had too many other life fires to put out.
Baby Steps Back to Bliss
When you find yourself deep in a funk, you can't shock your nervous system by trying to fix everything overnight. You have to take baby steps.
For me, that meant picking up the journal again—not forcing an hour-long deep dive, but just getting a few thoughts out of my head so my brain could rest. I’m actually bringing this exact journey over to my Instagram (@SweetSoulWellness), sharing daily prompts and real journal pages so we can baby-step our way back to alignment together. Reclaiming your bliss isn't about never falling off the wagon; it's about holding your own hand as you get back on.
Flowing with Your Inner Seasons (And the Moon!)
The biggest takeaway came from looking back through my old journals after talking with podcast guests who practice cyclical living. I noticed a wild pattern: my feelings of exhaustion, depression, and wanting to crawl into a cave weren't random at all. They were happening at the exact same week every single month!
During my luteal phase (my personal internal "winter"), I take everything ultra-personally. Simon and I banter constantly—it’s our love language! But in my winter phase, I’d write in my journal: “Does he even love me? Why is he being mean?”
Once I realized it was just my hormones playing tricks on me, I could tell him: “Hey babe, I’m in my luteal phase right now, so we need to tone down the banter because my feelings are tender.” Problem solved! No spiral necessary.
Right after that winter phase comes my spring—where I suddenly have genius ideas to write a book, plan a documentary, and change the world. Then comes my summer—that brief, magical window where my introverted self actually wants to leave the house and go party with my friends!
Whether you follow a bleeding cycle or align with the moon phases (I follow the Red Moon cycle!), learning your inner rhythms changes everything. It empowers you to be kind to yourself when you need rest, ride the wave when you have creative energy, and go with the flow instead of fighting your own body.
Back on the Road Together
If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re stuck in a dark funk, please hear me: You are not broken. You just took a wrong turn, and the road back to yourself is paved with small, gentle baby steps.
Be kind to yourself, laugh when the pig gets loose, talk to your people, and honor where you are today. We're in this together!
Until next week... skirts up, but keep your panties on!
The Phoenix Perspective
Panties in My Pants, Cult Recovery, and Why Your Cycle is Literally a Superpower
What’s up, my beautiful squad? Welcome back to the blog.
Alright, I need to start this post with a quick public service announcement: the next time you are getting dressed and grabbing clothes straight out of the dryer, please check your pant legs. Because if you don’t, you might find yourself in the middle of a video call with a total stranger, wondering why there is a massive, mysterious lump right against your thigh, only to reach down and pull out a stray pair of underwear.
Yes. That actually happened to me.
The gorgeous Kori Rae Kovacs—nurse, body intuitive, and host of The Phoenix Perspective podcast—came on the show for Episode 4, and that was our literal icebreaker. I had essentially internet-stalked her on social media because I saw her profile and my brain went, "I need her in my life immediately." I slid into her DMs, asked her to be my friend, and during our very first call, I pulled a lacy thong out of my jeans.
Honestly? If you can pull laundry out of your pants leg five minutes into meeting someone and they don’t even blink, you know you’ve found your soul sister.
Once we stopped laughing, we rolled our sleeves up and got into the real meat and potatoes of how our internal worlds completely dictate our physical health. Kori Rae has this stunning painting behind her of a fiery phoenix with a vulva on its chest, and she explained that she painted it with her bare hands using gold thread over a single menstrual cycle to heal the energetic trauma of her C-section scar.
That immediately opened the door to a huge conversation about what it actually means to live a cyclical life.
If you've been around here for a minute, you know we just had a sex coach on the show talking about cycle syncing. But Kori Rae takes it to a whole different level. She dropped a line that gave me literal, full-body goosebumps: Every single month, vagina owners live through an entire year of seasons in 28 days.
Winter is your period (rest, boundaries, reflection).
Spring is your follicular phase (playful, creative, planting seeds).
Summer is ovulation (magnetic, expressive, hitting launch).
Fall is your luteal phase (discernment, fierce boundaries... and yes, a little luteal rage).
But Kori Rae doesn't look at this as just a calendar tracker. She looks at it as a practical blueprint for personal growth. If you want to work on being a more patient mom or partner, your luteal phase is your ultimate proving ground—because that's the week your patience is naturally running on empty! If you can practice breathing through the irritation then, you can do it anytime.
Then, we got into the heavy science and soul stuff, and my logical, boxy brain was on fire. Kori Rae shared her personal journey with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). If you look at it purely under a microscope, PCOS is a metabolic hormone issue—essentially diabetes of the ovaries. But when Kori Rae started documenting her cycle and looking at the energetic root cause, everything clicked.
As a kid, adults loved her when she was bubbly, happy, and outgoing (first-half-of-the-cycle energy). But when she was direct, opinionated, and asked hard questions (second-half-of-the-cycle energy), adults shut her down. So, her subconscious mind spent decades trying to force her to stay in that bubbly "maiden" phase. Her ovaries literally stopped wanting to ovulate because her system was terrified of crossing over to that powerful, boundary-setting second half.
Once she started tracking her patterns, gave herself permission to be all of herself, and integrated both sides, her body healed. At 41 years old, she has healthier, more regular cycles than she did in her 20s.
It made me think so much about my own journey with functional seizures. For years, my logical brain stonewalled my emotions. I rejected anything that didn't make "sense," living in a constant wall of survival mode without even realizing it. And just like Kori Rae’s PCOS, my body eventually kept score and shut down physically because my internal signals were getting completely interrupted.
We live in a society that only looks for mechanical, physical root causes. But pioneers like Louise Hay and Dr. Joe Dispenza have proven for decades that our physical ailments are deeply intertwined with our emotional blocks.
When you stop trying to live a rigid, linear life and actually look at your body with curiosity instead of criticism, miracles happen. Kori Rae uses a tool called the Cycles Journal to document her daily shifts, because if you don't document your path, you forget how far you've actually come.
We don't need to know the exact destination before we start walking, squad. Sometimes we just need to hit the "I believe" button, turn the camera on with zero notes, and let the energy flow. When we plan every single second of our lives, we leave absolutely no room for wonder, spontaneity, or miracles.
So, drop the heavy logic for a second. Go hug a tree (yes, Kori Rae taught me how to telepathically talk to them, and it is magical). Give yourself some grace this week, no matter what inner season you are sitting in.
If you haven't caught the episode yet, grab your iced coffee, head over to Spotify or Apple, and go listen to us go from static-cling underwear to quantum-level healing.
Until next week... skirts up, but keep your panties on!
With so much love,
Samantha Mandell
Why You're Not Crazy, You're Just a Woman
Seven, Seven, Seven...
What’s up, my beautiful squad? Welcome back to the blog.
Alright, if the title of this post just made you burst out laughing, then you are officially my people. For those who missed the reference, go pull up the clip of Monica from Friends trying to explain female ergonomics to Chandler. Seven. Seven. SEVEN! No, you know what, we’re all busy and its too good to miss so here you go -
Today, we are lifting the skirt all the way up on a topic that we usually only whisper about with our closest girlfriends after two glasses of wine: female pleasure, sex toys, and the absolute rollercoaster of our hormones.
The gorgeous Lauren Goyette—our absolute favorite research-nerd sex coach—returned to the mic for Episode 3, and let me tell you, my logical, boxy brain was practically working overtime trying to track everything she was throwing down.
First of all, can we just celebrate Lauren for a second? Since she was last on the show, she went and got her Bachelor’s in Applied Psychology and is starting her Master’s in Social Work in August so she can officially become a licensed sex therapist. Talk about a woman executing her dreams!
But before we even got into the heavy science, we had to catch up on the fun stuff. You guys might remember that Lauren works with Athena’s Home Novelties (think of it like bringing the sex toy store right to your living room). Well, Simon and I have been testing out some of her recommended goodies, and let’s just say we are obsessed with this little sensation balm she hooked us up with. It is literally happy tingles in a little jar, and I have officially volunteered as her permanent product tester. You’re welcome!
But the real meat and potatoes of our conversation was a concept Lauren calls Intrinsic Rhythms.
Have you ever had a week where you’re on fire, crushing your business goals, and feeling super flirty—only to hit the next week and want to bite your partner's head off, order takeout, and hide under a blanket? And then, of course, you spend the whole weekend beating yourself up, wondering why you can’t just be consistent?
Lauren completely blew my mind with this reality check: The entire modern world is built on a 24-hour hormonal cycle based on testosterone. Men get a fresh batch of hormones every single morning. Vagina owners? We operate on a 28-day cycle. Our hormones are being released in completely different increments and doses every single week.
We are literally not supposed to feel the same every day. When we fight our bodies and try to force ourselves into that 24-hour corporate box, we end up in Burnout City.
Lauren broke down the four "seasons" of our cycle, and it completely changed how I look at my calendar:
Winter (The Menstrual Phase): This is your ultimate rest and reset. Your energy is internal and reflective. It’s a great time for reviewing the back-end of your business, but when it comes to intimacy? It’s all about being held, supported, and leaving the pressure to perform at the door. It's the "hold me, okay now go away" phase.
Spring (The Follicular Phase): This is where creativity blooms. It's the phase for brainstorming, starting new projects, and planting seeds. In the bedroom, it’s playful, spontaneous, and full of flirting.
Summer (The Ovulatory Phase): You are shining like the freaking sun. Your biochemistry actually changes to make you more magnetic. This is when you hit "launch" on your business, record your podcasts, and step into total erotic expression.
Fall (The Luteal Phase): Oh, welcome to Luteal Rage. This is the phase where anxiety and self-doubt love to creep in, but it’s actually your body’s fiercest tool for discernment. The things that irritate you this week are usually pointing to the exact boundaries you need to set and the hard conversations you need to have.
And for my ladies out there saying, "Sam, I have an IUD, I don’t bleed, how do I track this?" I asked her the exact same thing! Lauren explained that non-bleeders can sync up beautifully with the moon cycles. New moon is your winter/menstrual phase, and a full moon is your summer/ovulation phase (which explains why wild things always happen on a full moon!).
We also talked about how this ties into the subconscious mind. I shared my personal theory with Lauren that people with unhealthy, insecure attachment styles from a young age are way more susceptible to developing the Functional Neurologic Disorders (FND) that I work with in my wellness practice. Lauren totally agreed, reminding me that your body is constantly keeping score, and when we learn to stop fighting our natural rhythms and actually listen to what our bodies need, life gets an million times easier.
We are a box of chocolates, squad. One week we are vanilla-filled, the next week we are fudge, and that is exactly how we were designed to be.
So the next time you find yourself getting sensitive or irritated in a conversation with your partner, give yourself some grace. Write your current phase on the fridge like Lauren does, or just look at your partner and say, "Hey, I'm in my luteal phase right now. Let's put this conversation on the back burner until next week."
Trust your body. Stop fighting your flow.
If you haven't listened to the full episode yet, grab your iced coffee, head over to Spotify or Apple, and go get your masterclass in female pleasure.
Until next week... skirts up, but keep your panties on!
With so much love,
Samantha
“Watch Me” Revolution
The Post-It Note on the Mirror: Turning My Doubts into a "Watch Me" Revolution
What’s up, my beautiful squad? Welcome back to the blog.
If you caught last week's post, you know I was standing in a pretty dark place before we kicked off this season. Between the lingering panic from Simon’s car accident, navigating Nora’s new autism diagnosis, and getting doors slammed in my face by the traditional clinical community, I was ready to throw in the towel. I wanted to lock the doors to my wellness practice, delete the podcast feeds, and just crawl under the covers.
But then, the universe handed me the exact medicine I didn’t know I needed. Enter Renee Carbone Fleming.
Renee is the absolute queen of personal branding, a powerhouse entrepreneur, and a literal billboard-in-the-middle-of-Times-Square kind of badass. But when she sat down across from me on the mic for Episode 2, she didn't just give me a polished résumé. She gave me her truth. She talked about growing up with nothing, surviving the tragedy of her biological father's suicide, living on a pull-out couch, and navigating a brutal bankruptcy and divorce that stripped her down to nothing.
Sitting there listening to her, I got literal goosebumps. Because while her story is uniquely hers, that feeling of being completely broken, staring at the pieces of your life, and wondering, Who the hell am I?—that is a feeling so many of us know in our bones.
She dropped so many truth bombs in our hour together that I was practically vibrating. But there were three specific concepts she shared that completely reshaped how I’m looking at my own life and business right now, and I knew I had to scream them from the rooftops for you guys:
1. Do You Have a PhD?
Renee reminded me that you don't need a fancy string of letters after your name or approval from a gatekeeping institution to build an empire or change lives. You just need a "PhD" in Passion, Heart, and Desire. When the clinical world told me I didn't belong because I didn't have their specific degrees, I forgot that my own lived experience and my certification in RTT are exactly what make me uniquely qualified to help women build their inner foundations. Passion and heart will beat a piece of paper every single day.
2. The CASE Method
If you've ever felt completely frozen by analysis paralysis, you need this framework. Renee breaks down how to move out of "freeze mode" using Clarity, Action, Strategy, and Evaluation. For me, I realized I was stuck in the "freeze" because I was waiting for everyone else to tell me my steps were okay. Renee's advice? Get clear, take the messy action first, build the strategy around what works, and evaluate as you go.
3. The "WATCH ME" Manifesto
This is the one that I am currently writing on a post-it note and sticking directly to my bathroom mirror. Renee told me that when she was at her lowest, and the doubters were telling her she couldn't make it on her own, she plastered her house with the words WATCH ME. It stands for:
Withdraw from explanation (Stop trying to make people understand your vision!)
Act before approval
Take up space publicly
Commit without consensus
Hold the vision when no one else does
Reading those words felt like a lightning bolt straight to my soul. How many times do we dim our own light or delay our dreams because we are waiting for a committee of people—who aren't even living our lives—to tell us it’s okay?
Three Feet from Gold & The Ultimate Synchronicity
Renee also recommended an incredible book called Three Feet from Gold, and it hit me right in the chest. It's all about how people give up right when they are on the literal brink of their biggest breakthrough. It was the exact reminder I needed to keep digging. I KNOW in my soul I’m doing what I am meant to do, and I KNOW that it is going to be big. I could be only three feet away from that gold, but I won't ever know unless I keep pushing forward.
And speaking of the universe giving you a sign, ever since I started this podcast, I have consistently listened to and looked for synchronicities in my life. And oh my god, we had a massive one in this conversation.
Last season, our sweet guest DJ LoGory introduced us to the concept of writing a future life script, recording it in your own voice, and listening to it every single morning to map out the beautiful life you're working toward. Well, guess what? Renee does the exact same thing. She rolls over, brews her bed-side black coffee, and listens to her own voice memo to align her brain and heart for the day.
When the exact same unique tool shows up in my life from two completely different powerhouse people? I don't ignore it. Because... synchronicity. I am getting ready to record my own future life script right now, and you better believe I’ll let you guys know how it goes!
This episode was the ultimate reminder that every single one of us needs to build our own version of a financial and emotional "$100k Fuck-It Fund." We need a soul-aligned passion that belongs 100% to us, where we are the ultimate authority.
I walked into that interview feeling like a fraud, and I walked out ready to run through a brick wall. If people want to shoot down what we are building here at Sweet Soul Wellness, or tell us we're doing too much on the podcast... well, I guess all I have left to say is: Watch me.
If you haven't listened to the episode yet, stop what you are doing, grab your iced coffee, and go stream it right now. Your inner badass is waiting.
Until next week... skirts up, but keep your panties on!
With so much love,
Samantha Mandell
View From The Trenches
Car Accidents, Autism Diagnoses, and Why I Almost Closed the Doors for Good
What’s up, my beautiful squad? Welcome back.
If you’ve already tuned into the Season 5 premiere of Skirts Up, you know things look and sound a little bit different around here. Riding solo at the microphone this season is a whole new vibe, and I’m not going to lie—it feels a little awkward. But even though the dynamic has shifted, let’s get one thing straight: the energy, the raw honesty, and the absolute messiness of real life are staying exactly the same. When I say "we" are back, I mean me and you. We are a team, and I am so incredibly grateful you’re still riding this ride with me.
Can we talk about the "break" between seasons for a second? Because calling it a break is the biggest joke of the century. For me, it felt like anything but a rest. I was strapped into an absolute emotional rollercoaster, dealing with things that completely shook my mental stability.
First, the phone call every wife absolutely dreads. I was sitting in a nail salon, completely oblivious because I didn’t have cell service, while my family was frantically trying to reach me. My husband, Simon, was in a horrific car accident. He was sitting at a red light, it turned green, the two cars in front of him went, and as he proceeded, a Jeep blew through the intersection going 65 miles per hour and T-boned him right on the driver’s side tire.
Walking into that hospital room and seeing him in a neck brace was traumatizing. Thankfully, he is okay—he survived. But the doctors dropped a nugget that absolutely haunted me: if that Jeep had hit him just a few inches later, it would have been catastrophic. I wasn't even in the car, but knowing how close I came to losing my husband stirred up a wave of panic attacks that I’ve been quietly working through ever since. (Leave it to our four-year-old, Nora, to be the ultimate icebreaker, though. Every time someone asks how we're doing, she yells, "I said we are not talking about the accident anymore!" and we all just start laughing.)
And speaking of Nora... we finally got our answers.
Toward the end of last season, we started having the conversation about the potential that she might be on the spectrum. During the break, we went through the grueling testing process. I’m going to be completely honest with you—I have no idea what the official difference is between a psychologist, a psychiatrist, or a therapist, but the evaluator was incredibly nice. I sat there pouring my heart out about the worst of our days: the extreme meltdowns when routines change, the screaming matches in the summer because "her back is sweaty" from a warm car, and the days where she is just grumpy about everything.
At one point, I started over-analyzing myself. I told the evaluator, "Look, I’m just reporting the worst parts. I don't want you to diagnose her just because I'm being spot-on or negative. I want this to be legit." She looked at me and said, "Samantha, have you noticed that since you've been in this room, every single toy Nora touches, she smells it, licks it, or twists it into her hair?" I was floored. I looked over, and yep—she was doing exactly that. She was lining up her toys in a perfect, specific line, and demanding that if anyone played with her, they had to play "the right way" (which is whatever way is currently living in her brilliant little head).
A week ago, the results came back: Level 2 Autism and ADHD. The ADHD is zero surprise—you can tell that within five seconds of meeting her. But the autism diagnosis brought this massive wave of relief, paired with a lot of internal confusion. Nothing changes about who she is, but now I have the books and resources to figure out how to handle the emotional storm of her meltdowns without constantly feeling like I'm failing as a mom.
With all of this crashing down on me, I hit a massive wall.
I started my wellness practice, Sweet Soul Wellness, back in January on my birthday. I’ve been working so hard to build it, focusing heavily on helping people with Functional Neurologic Disorder (FND)—a condition I personally survived and completely healed from using Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT). Because RTT gave me my life back after suffering from non-epileptic seizures, I was so excited to bring this tool to the clinical world. I joined networking groups with therapists, psychiatrists, and neurologists, thinking, "Man, this is going to be so easy! We can bridge the gap when talk therapy hits a wall."
Well, it did not go well.
Instead of open arms, I was met with explicit unwelcomeness. I received hateful, mean messages from therapists telling me there were no studies proving RTT works for FND, telling me I didn't belong in their space because I didn't have their specific degrees. I ended up getting kicked out of the groups.
Between the car accident, the diagnosis, and getting slammed into by the clinical community, I went into a deep, dark spiral. I felt like a failure. I was questioning every decision I’ve ever made. I wanted to shut Sweet Soul Wellness down, and I wanted to cancel Skirts Up forever. I wanted to just curl up in a ball and give up.
But then, I looked at a couple of articles I had written about what it feels like to live in a body and a life where you don't like who you are, and how possible it is to change into someone you love. The hits and messages flooded in. Everyday women—moms and business owners just like you and me—started reaching out saying, "Hold up, I feel like I've taken care of everyone else and completely lost myself. When was the last time I actually felt pure joy?"
That was my turning point. I realized I don't need the approval of people who want to put me in a box.
I’m stepping into a brand-new title that I completely made up, but it fits perfectly: I am an Inner Foundation Coach. I am not here to teach you how to endlessly manage or cope with your stress and burnout. I am here for the women who would literally laugh out loud if you asked them when they last felt pure, unfiltered joy. I am here to help you look at the parts of yourself you don't like, dismantle the negative beliefs, remove the subconscious blocks, and turn you into an absolute badass who loves who she sees in the mirror.
We owe it to ourselves as women to reclaim our peace, our confidence, and our internal foundation.
I survived the rollercoaster of this break, and I am standing firmly on the bedrock of who I am supposed to be. Season 5 is going to get messy, it’s going to get deep, it's going to get incredibly personal, and apparently—according to our ratings—we are diving headfirst into female pleasure exploration later this year, which I am absolutely here for!
Thank you for riding solo with me today and letting me catch you up on the chaos. Make sure you come back next week, because we have a powerhouse, empire-building guest who dropped three specific phrases into my life that completely pulled me out of my dark night of the soul. You are going to leave that episode feeling unstoppable.
Until next week... Skirts up, but keep your panties on!
With so much love,
Samantha Mandell
The Magic of Season 3: Coincidences and Callings
Okay, y’all, can we just take a minute to talk about Season 3 of Skirts Up? I'm convinced the universe was listening in and plotting behind the scenes because this season was a wild ride of revelations, "accidental" meetings, and some seriously life-changing takeaways. It’s like every guest showed up with exactly what we—and you—needed to hear. Coincidence? I think not.
Keep Going, You're Almost There
First up, let’s talk about our chat with Simona Davidson of Lavender Haze. I really, really needed to hear her story. Starting something new and meaningful is hard. Like, gut-wrenching, pulling-your-hair-out hard. But her journey was a powerful reminder to just keep going. She gave us a mantra that’s been on repeat in my head: "Three to survive, five to thrive." It's a game changer, right?
The Magic of Melissa's Journey
Our conversation with Terrie Christine didn't leave me with one specific profound finding, but it had an even bigger purpose. Terrie was a beacon of support for my co-host, Melissa. In the first episode of Season 3, Melissa was going through one of the toughest times in her life. Terrie gently helped her open her eyes and make space for the change she needed. Watching Melissa's growth from that first episode to the last—moving on, finding new love, and shining brighter than ever—has been an absolute pleasure. I'm so proud of her.
When an "Accident" Becomes a Calling
Sometimes the universe sends you a breadcrumb trail. For me, that trail led straight to Ashley Melillo. I was deep in a Google search about spiritual awakenings—you know, that feeling when everything just starts to click and you feel different in the best way. I stumbled upon her website, and her blog post was so perfectly written that I felt compelled to reach out. That email turned into a podcast invitation, and that conversation led me to discover RTT therapy. Now, here I am, on the brink of becoming a certified RTT Practitioner myself. It's a powerful lesson that some of our greatest discoveries start with a little curious click.
The Power of Being Vulnerable
Sharing my personal mental health journey was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was emotional, raw, and at times, I wanted to hit delete. But it was absolutely worth it. After that episode aired, several people reached out, sharing that my story helped them advocate for themselves and finally get the correct diagnosis they needed. It's a reminder that sharing our struggles can create space for others to find their own path to healing.
Speaking of which, a little spoiler alert for Season 4! I'm so excited for you to meet a female neurologist and neuroscientist who specializes in helping women advocate for their health. She has extensive experience with PNES (Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures) diagnoses, and I know this conversation is going to be incredibly impactful.
Unschooling Our Perceptions
Before this season, I was skeptical about unschooling. Honestly, it seemed kind of odd and like a disservice to kids. But then we met Sam and Kiya. Listening to them and seeing the incredible impact of unschooling done right has completely changed my perspective. Their story has even sparked some serious conversations in my own household about what the right educational path is for our family. It just goes to show you should never knock it until you've truly seen it in action.
Say "Yes" and See What Happens
And finally, thanks to a little tidbit from Brittany Racine, I’ve been living by a new motto: Hard work, persistence, and just saying "yes" pays off. I was ready to throw in the towel, but instead, I was presented with some incredible opportunities. I was featured in Shoutout Atlanta, published in a magazine (what?!), and we joined a podcast network, Podmatch, which has been a total game-changer for our reach. Because of that, Skirts Up can now host events that bring our incredible community together.
This journey of self-love, exploration, and finding your passion has been a wild one, and it means the world to us that you're along for the ride. Your messages about how a guest has impacted you help us more than you know, so keep them coming!
Keep a lookout for Season 4, launching on October 9th! And don't forget to follow us on social media to stay up-to-date on everything we have going on, including our upcoming event to raise money and awareness for Canine Assistants. Seriously, go check out the amazing work they do with service dogs! Did you hear who's performing? Clejan, the viral sensation and UGA graduate with his new genre, trap violin. Tickets will go fast, so grab yours and join us at Akademia Brewing Company for what's sure to be an unforgettable night!
With that being said.
Keep those skirts up, panties on.
Until next time.
Unschooling, Yay or Nay?
Hey there, Skirts Up Squad! We are approaching the end of July which means its time to starting getting back-to-school ready. But have you ever found yourself scratching your head, wondering if traditional schooling is the best fit for your bright-eyed, curious little one? Well, you're not alone! We invited Neurodivergent coach, Sam Soles, onto the show to talk about the wonderfully weird world of adjusting school to fit your child's unique needs—and trust me, it's a game-changer. Sam shares with us her personal story of exploring Unschooling when her youngest child, diagnosed AU-ADHD, significantly struggled to thrive in a traditional setting. Their success is amazing! Sam’s oldest child, Kiya (14 years old) chimes in on her opinion of it. The evidence in clear.
Here is what we took from this fascinating conversation:
One Size Doesn't Fit All
First things first, let's get one thing straight: Kids are like snowflakes—each one is unique and special in its own way. So why should we expect one-size-fits-all schooling to work for every single one of them? Spoiler alert: we shouldn't! Whether your child is a budding artist, a mini math whiz, or the next great engineer, there's a way to tweak their education to make it shine as brightly as they do.
Enter: Unschooling
Unschooling? What in the world is that? It's not “no-schooling,” that's for sure! Unschooling is all about allowing kids to explore their interests at their own pace. Imagine your child deep-diving into Greek mythology through the magical tales of Percy Jackson or learning geometry through Minecraft architecture. It's all about discovering the joy of learning in ways that make sense to them.
The Beauty of Choice
One of the biggest perks of adjusting education to fit your child is the freedom of choice. You get to guide your child on a learning adventure that’s tailor-made for them. Whether it's unschooling, homeschooling, or a unique mix of both, the choice is yours—and theirs. How empowering is that?
Real-Life Learning
Adjusting school to fit your child's needs isn't just about academics; it's about equipping them with real-life skills. Imagine your child handling their own schedule, managing projects, and learning to communicate effectively—all while still being kids. It’s the ultimate preparation for adulthood, minus the boring bits. Now, I know that part sounds scary. But what if your child isn’t fitting in and excelling? What if the school system is failing your AU-ADHD students because they (traditional schools) just aren’t properly prepared?
Social Skills Galore
But what about social skills, you ask? Fear not, dear reader! Alternative schooling methods often include co-ops, unschooling groups, and community classes where kids can socialize, make friends, and learn to work together. Plus, there’s always room for family game nights and neighborhood adventures.
The Proof is in the Pudding
Lastly, the benefits speak for themselves. Kids who learn in ways that suit them tend to have a stronger sense of self, better mental health, and a lifelong love of learning. And isn’t that what we all want for our kids?
Adjusting school to fit your child's individual needs might just be the secret sauce to unlocking their full potential. Embrace the quirks, celebrate the individuality, and watch your child soar. Ready to start this exciting journey? Sam Soles is here to help!
Per usual, keep your skirts up, panties on.
Until next time,
Samantha Mandell
Producer and Host of Skirts Up. Skirts Up blog writer, Samantha Mandell
3 Myths to a Happy Gut
Today, we're taking you on a journey through the twists and turns of gut health. Lindsay Little, holistic health and gut coach, joins the squad and lets us in on a little secret. Ready to bust some common myths and learn how to whip your gut into great shape?
Myth #1
If you've ever thought it was normal to only hit the bathroom once a week, buckle up! Your gut might just be crying for help. Turns out, a healthy routine involves going number two at least once a day, though if you're munching on loads of fiber, you might be making a couple more trips. So, if you’re saying ‘once a week’ – it's time for a gut check! Aim for a regular daily bathroom routine. If your schedule looks more like a pop quiz than a daily class, it might be time to get more fiber into your diet. Trust us, your gut will thank you!
Myth #2
We’ve all believed the idea that endless hours of cardio is the golden ticket to weight loss. Newsflash – strength training is where it’s at! Not only does it build muscles and bone health, but it also helps with sustaining weight loss and is kinder to your gut. Steady cardio can stress your digestive system, while strength training sets you up for a win-win in the health game. Think of activities like weightlifting, resistance band workouts, or even bodyweight exercises to give your muscles a reason to celebrate.
Myth #3
Probiotics are all the rage, but not everyone needs to hop on the bandwagon. These living organisms found in supplements and fermented foods can be beneficial, but they’re not a one-size-fits-all solution. Instead, consider if your diet includes naturally probiotic-rich foods like yogurt, sauerkraut, and kombucha before seeking out supplements. Personalize your approach to probiotics by focusing on a diet rich in fermented foods, or consult a health professional to see if a supplement is necessary for you.
Here Is What You Can do:
Eating more plants (no, the piece of lettuce on your burger doesn’t count) is a fantastic way to boost your gut health. Aim to diversify the types of fruits and vegetables you eat each week. Remember, different plants bring different fibers and nutrients to your gut party, keeping things lively and balanced. Challenge yourself to eat a variety of plants every week. Make it a game – how many different fruits and veggies can you fit into your diet? Keep track and see your health soar sky-high.
Gut health doesn’t have to be a mystery. By debunking these myths and incorporating some key practices into your daily life, you'll be well on your way to a happier, healthier gut. And yes, it's okay to laugh at your tummy growls – it just means your gut is trying to tell you something!
Keep those skirts up and your gut health on point!
Until next time.
~ Get MORE helpful facts and small healthy tips you can start TODAY by listening to the full episode with Lindsay Little ~
Written by Samantha Mandell. Host of Skirts Up podcast.
Follow Your Dreams, Start That Business
What are THREE things to keep in mind as you embark on your own entrepreneurship journey?
Here’s what Simona Davidson has to say about it. Her journey of success starts after taking a chance by moving from the Czech Republic to New York!
Image of Lavender Haze by Simona Davidson
Hey Skirts Up Squad! 🌟 Have you ever felt the urge to follow your dreams, start that business you've always imagined, and support your community while you're at it?
You're in the right place! Skirts Up had the honor of hosting Simona Davidson, owner of Lavender Haze, (a FLOWER truck, not food truck) and man do we have some juicy tidbits to share with you. Here are some of the THREE biggest takeaways to keep in mind as you prepare to open your business.
First off, let’s dive into the dream-chasing part. Simona's journey to starting her mobile flower business is proof that sometimes, you just have to go for it! From being an au pair in New Jersey (where things didn’t quite click) to finding her tribe right here in Georgia, her path was anything but straightforward. And guess what? Yours doesn’t have to be either! Be prepared for twists, turns, and a whole lot of learning moments. Remember, fail often and fail forward!
Now, let’s talk about starting that business. One thing Simona learned on this journey? Don’t do too many freebies. Sure, it’s tempting to get out there by offering your services at no cost, but your time and talent are valuable. Believe in yourself and your worth—you’re bringing something unique to the table. Itemize everything, and show the world (and yourself) the immense value you’re providing. Trust me, it’s a game-changer.
And last but definitely not least, supporting your community. I can’t stress enough how crucial it was for both Simona and no-host Melissa to have a support system starting up their shops. Family, friends, and even fellow business owners can make all the difference. Whether it’s lending a hand for those tedious tasks or simply being a sounding board for ideas, community support is invaluable. And hey, you might even find other small business owners who are more than willing to help you along the way!
In the end, remember that it’s all about staying true to yourself, being resilient, and lifting each other up. Your dreams may feel like they’re miles away, but with every small step, you’re getting closer. So go on, chase that dream, start that business, and bring your community along for the ride.
Do NOT sell yourself short.
Until next time,
Skirts Up!
(But keep your panties on)
Samantha Mandell, Author.
Catch the full episode here!
The 9 types of Orgasms
Welcome back, Skirts Up squad!
Today, we're diving into one of the most fun subjects ever discussed on the Skirts Up Show – types of orgasms! Lauren Goyette, sex coach and voice of Desire Dialogues, joins the Skirts Up girls to share what some of us are missing. This topic is as interesting as it is pleasurable, so buckle up and prepare for a joyous ride through the nine types of orgasms! Here’s what we understood-
Clitoral Orgasm
Let's start with the classic clitoral orgasm. The majority of us are familiar with this one. It's the most common orgasm among vulva owners, attributable to the 10,000 nerve endings found in the clitoris. This little pleasure button exists solely for one wonderful purpose: to provide pleasure!
2. G-Spot Orgasm
Next up is the G-Spot orgasm! This type occurs when stimulating the front wall of the vagina. To find this sweet spot, aim for about one to three inches inside. The magic often happens with a come-hither motion using your fingers or a curved toy.
3. Vaginal Orgasm
Ever felt pleasure just from penetration alone? That’s the vaginal orgasm! Contrary to what many may think, the first third of the vagina is actually laden with nerve endings. Yes, indeedy. That's why certain positions or even that 'helicopter move' can bring about this intensely satisfying experience.
4. Anal Orgasm
For the adventurous among us, the anal orgasm! It's notable for involving another 14,000 nerve endings surrounding the anus. With the proper preparation, lots of lube, and taking things slow, anal play can lead you to this mind-blowing type of orgasm that's worth the hype.
5. Cervical Orgasm
The cervical orgasm takes things to deeper levels - literally! After some warming up with other types of pleasure, the cervix can become a hotspot. Combine that deep connection and emotional build-up to explore this unique sensation.
6. Nipple Orgasm
Got nipple piercings? Did you know each nipple boasts around 800 nerve endings? Stimulating these can lead to powerful nipple orgasms. This sensation isn’t exclusive to any gender. So, feel free to explore and let the sparks fly!
7. Oral Orgasm
Oral pleasure isn’t just focused on your partner’s satisfaction. Some can experience an orgasm just from giving or receiving oral. It's the ultimate win-win! It might take some focus and attention to rhythm, but oh, is it worth it.
8. Energy Orgasm
Now, let’s get a bit mystical with the energy orgasm. Imagine experiencing a climax without anyone touching your genitals. Whether you're engaging in deep kissing, intense eye contact, or mutual touch while clothed, tapping into your energy can result in a toe-curling experience.
9. Blended Orgasm
Lastly, the crème de la crème of orgasms - the blended orgasm! This delightful phenomenon occurs when you experience multiple types of orgasms simultaneously. Imagine combining a clitoral, G-Spot, and vaginal orgasm. It's the trifecta of ecstasy!
So, there you have it! Nine distinct types of orgasms that can add layers of joy and depth to your sexual adventures. Whether you’re exploring solo or with a partner, knowing and understanding these different types can open up a whole new world of pleasure.
Keep those skirts up, but your panties on!
- Skirts Up!
Listen to the full episode, Erotic Blueprint on your favorite listening app.
Author- Samantha Mandell
YOU Are The Standard of “Beauty” That Matters.
For me, this one speaks to my inner beauty
This one speaks to inner FUN side
The “sexy side” I didn’t know existed.
Are you ready to take a leap of faith and embrace your true beauty? Buckle up, friends, because today we're diving into the world of boudoir photography with my fabulous friends from One Soul Photography, Jill and David. Trust me, this isn't just about snapping pretty pictures—this is all about discovering and celebrating the gorgeous person you are!
First thing's first: Why boudoir? Well, why not! It’s more than just fancy photoshoots in skimpy outfits ,if that’s what you’re imagining (Though it totally can be!). This experience is about empowerment, self-love, and celebrating every curve, wrinkle, and smile that makes you who you are. Whether you're a mom, a career woman, or just someone looking to feel amazing in your own skin, boudoir is for you. As Jill and David say, every person deserves to see themselves as a work of art.
Picture this: You walk into the studio, nerves are sky-high, and you’re thinking, 'What am I doing here?' But then, something magical happens. You start to relax, maybe crack a smile, and before you know it, you’re letting loose and having the time of your life. Samantha and Melissa share stories of their own experiences, going from jittery to jubilant, thanks to the supportive environment Jill and David create. By the end of the shoot, you're not just thinking, 'I did it!'—you’re saying, 'Wow, I look incredible!'
Boudoir with One Soul Photography isn’t just a session, it’s a journey. Jill and David take the time to know you—the real you. They ask about your past, your struggles, and your triumphs. This isn't just small talk; it's about creating a personalized experience that brings out your best. From the moment you share your story to the second you see your photos, you’ll experience a transformation that’s as emotional as it is visual.
For me personally, it was a great relief (with tears on the crying couch) to have a space that felt safe to say ‘here is me in raw form.’ I’m a neurodivergent daughter, sister, mother, wife, and sexual abuse survivor,(there’s more but I’ll spare you the list!) that is extremely fearful of what others think of me, entering my era of knowing who I am and where I want to go. This was a deeply personal decision for me. They really listened to what makes me feel good in my own skin and not try to transform me into any specific beauty standard. Hello, have you seen my photo’s attached to this article.
Imagine this: walking through your home and seeing you—yes, you!—featured as a beautiful piece of art. Your boudoir photos can be a constant reminder of your strength, beauty, and confidence. Forget generic landscapes and random decor; make your home a shrine to your incredible self. Every time you pass that art on the wall, you’ll remember the empowered, genuine, and beautiful person you are. Talk about a boost!
So, are you ready to embrace your true beauty and take a chance on yourself? Jill, David, and the world of boudoir photography are waiting for you. Shed those insecurities, unleash your inner goddess, and transform yourself into an artwork that celebrates every fabulous part of you. You’ve got this, and trust us, you’re going to see and feel yourself in a whole new and better way!
Keep your Skirts Up, panties on.
Til next time,
Samantha Mandell
Find this full episode on your favorite listening app: The Skirts Up Show
Book your FREE consultation at One Soul Fine Art and Boudoir
Select “Lifestyle Event” as how you found them for a special rate, just for you<3
The 9 Types of Grief
Hey there, Skirts Up Squad!
Grab your favorite beverage, sit back, and let's dive into a topic that's often shushed but needs a loudspeaker – Grief. Yeah, I said it. Grief. But trust me, this isn't going to be a tissue-clutching, sobfest kind of post. Nope, we're flipping the script and bringing in some upbeat energy, because that's what life's about, right? - turning things around!
Meet Jo Beth, our superstar guest from NWA Grief Specialist. She’s not just young and beautiful (although she totally is); she’s a beacon of light in the dark tunnels of grief. Jo Beth's mission? To pull you out of those deep valleys and help you spot the sunshine again. And she does it with so much zest and confidence! Imagine the most energetic life coach combined with a grief counselor - that's Jo Beth for you.
Now, picture this: You're cruising through your day, and suddenly life throws you a curveball. Bam! You're knocked off your feet. Traditional society tells you, 'Time will heal all wounds.' But Jo Beth? She’s got a different playbook. And guess what's not in it? Sitting around waiting for time to do its magic. She’s all about action, baby!
Jo Beth's journey into the world of grief counseling wasn't exactly a walk in the park. She faced unimaginable darkness herself when her husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. Yeah, heavy stuff. But Jo Beth? She didn’t just survive it; she transformed her experience into a pathway to help others. Talk about turning lemons into lemonade!
So, what's the secret sauce in Jo Beth's recipe for conquering grief? It’s a blend of education, community support, and a touch of tough love. In her six-month program, it's not about lingering in the sad zone forever. Nope. It's about getting up, brushing off the dust, and taking solid, actionable steps towards healing. She uses tools like the Marco Polo video app (not like the pool game, Samantha) to offer instant support, cheering her clients on like the ultimate hype girl she is.
Oh, and let’s bust a myth while we’re at it: You know those well-worn 'stages of grief'? Jo Beth says, “Not so fast!” because guess what? They were originally written for people who are actually dying, not for those of us left living. Welcome to a new way of thinking about grief! Denial, anger, bargaining – they might pop up, but they’re not your mandatory stops along the way. Jo Beth emphasizes the importance of understanding your own unique grief journey. Imagine charting every loss you've experienced. Sounds intense, right? But it’s part of deciphering your grief language. You gain insights on how you've previously coped and discover healthier, more proactive ways to handle current and future heartaches.
Here’s a truth nugget for you: Jo Beth’s sessions aren’t just about talking things through. They’re action-packed! Whether it’s taking that first step out of bed or gearing up to start a new project in honor of a lost one, Jo Beth is right there with you, metaphorically holding your hand and sometimes literally via video, making sure you turn intentions into actions. She’s like that super persistent yet incredibly supportive friend we all need. With Marco Polo video app Jo Beth keeps in touch with her clients. It’s all about video messaging, connecting on a whole new level, ensuring no one's sinking in that grief pool alone.
Let’s talk about the many faces of grief, shall we? Because guess what? Grief isn’t just about losing a person to death. No way. Here are some types of grief you might find yourself navigating:
1. Death of a Loved One – The classic one that most people think of.
2. Divorce or Relationship Breakup – Love hurts, especially when it ends. In our humble opinion this one is oftentimes worse than death.
3. Loss of a Job – Our careers are often a big part of our identity.
4. Loss of a Pet – Pets are family too, and their loss can be heart-wrenching. You may have heard about Samantha’s recent grief struggle through this. RIP Ada.
5. Health Challenges – Chronic illness or sudden health issues can trigger mourning for the 'old you'.
6. Loss of a Limb or Body Part– Profound physical changes are also a form of loss.
7. Moving to a New Place – Even an exciting move can bring a sense of loss for your old environment.
8. Loss of Independence – Aging or injury can lead to grief over losing independence. Samantha knows this one as well but it lead to you, Skirts Up Squad!
9. Financial Losses – Money stress is no joke, and losing financial stability can feel like losing security.
The take away here is that no grief experience is any less hurtful or worse than someone else’s. Grief is a universal experience, and there are ways to navigate through it.
Ready to take on your grief with a proactive approach? Jo Beth’s program is the place to be. She especially loves working with women ready to kick down doors (metaphorically, of course) and embrace their new path with vigor. She's got the blueprint for your comeback. Let’s do this together! (Tell her you need the Skirts Up treatment!)
Remember, this isn’t just about surviving; it’s about thriving. Be an example of resilience. Spread positivity. Invest in yourself because you’re worth it. And most importantly, know that you’re never alone on this journey.
Now keep your Skirts Up, panties on.
-Skirts Up!
Find this episode on your favorite listening App
Samantha Mandell - Author
A Brief Overview of Rapid Transformational Therapy
Hey there, Skirts Up squad! Ever wonder if there's a way to tell your subconscious to knock it off with the anxiety, the nail-biting, or even that fear of public speaking? You might be surprised to learn that there's a therapy out there just for that - Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT). And guess what? We're diving deep into it today with our special guest, Ashley Melillo!
Ashley Melillo - psychologist turned insatiably curious spiritual truth seeker
Mmmm, biscuits and gravy! Just kidding, we're not talking about breakfast food today, although food for thought is definitely on the menu. Ashley is not just any psychologist; she's a food blogger turned RTT extraordinaire, walking us through how she's blending her love for psychology, spirituality, and yes, even a bit of quantum mechanics—sort of like your brain's version of a tasty buffet.
First things first: What is RTT? This isn't the latest boy band, people. RTT stands for Rapid Transformational Therapy. This super cool therapy blends hypnotherapy, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and neurolinguistic programming (NLP). Imagine getting a mental makeover, but instead of new clothes, you get a new way of thinking. Now, why should you care? Because RTT has the potential to tackle all sorts of issues—from anxiety and nail-biting (guilty!) to public speaking fears and even physical ailments like Crohn’s disease! It's like having a Swiss army knife for mental health.
Here’s how it works: You lie back, get cozy, and let a licensed RTT practitioner guide you through hypnotherapy to unlock your subconscious mind. Your practitioner will help you recall memories that contribute to your current issues. You might not remember a thing from age five, but your subconscious sure does! Then you get to reframe these memories, almost like editing a movie script to change your life story. How fascinating is that? We talked to Ashley about this fascinating work and she shared how her journey led her to dive into RTT. From food blogging (oh hey, Blissful Basil cookbook!) to studying quantum mechanics, she’s been on quite the quest for truth. And she's not stopping here—she’s currently getting certified in RTT and will soon be transforming lives!
But wait, there's more! RTT isn't just about getting rid of the bad stuff. It's also about embracing the good. Think affirmations and positive visualizations made specifically for you. Imagine wanting to be an awesome public speaker. During RTT, you'd visualize yourself on stage, confident and smashing it—Jennifer Lopez style! (Yes, Sam had a dream where she was JLo; we're not making this up.) To wrap it up, Ashley is a living example of following your passions and blending them into something extraordinary. Whether it's integrating psychology with spirituality or pursuing a tummy full of vegan recipes and blogs, she's proof that we don't have to stick to just one path.
So, if you’ve got a bucket list of things you want to improve about yourself, consider giving RTT a shot. Who knows? Your next great adventure might just be a thought away.
Until next time, remember to keep your skirts up, panties on.
Skirts Up!
Find this episode of Skirts Up on your favorite listening App!
Samantha Mandell - Author
When God’s a Knocking
Today on Skirts Up Samantha and Melissa share their fail of week per usual, but this time it's a fail as a whole. One had expectations the other had questions, neither things being shared with each other. People who closely know Samantha or have worked with her in the past know that one of her biggest flaws is, to put it simply, expecting people to read her mind through a method of madness. Samantha needs structure and takes it upon herself to create a show outline for each episode. Episodes are never scripted but once there is a topic chosen, Samantha writes out the flow of key points to hit and reminders or suggestions for each speaker. All Melissa knows when she looks at these notes is that she’s the color green. The notes for today’s episode had been created and submitted to Melissa to add notes of her own if she had any so Melissa does just THAT. Picks a spot in the outline and writes all the questions she wants to ask during the episode in green. Except now the outline made no sense and if they went along in that order this conversation would have been a discombobulated dumpster fire.
When Melissa saw the outline before recording she was really confused because her questions had been moved around throughout the outline and most of them were now in black. Melissa was relieved to see that the outline appeared to have direction but was confused on what she was supposed to do in the first place. Don’t you worry though! Everyone now understands how to read and write these notes so that you amazing followers can enjoy listening or reading to all the shenanigans they’ve got in store for you and the positive outcome is strengthening communication.
Now let's get to the good stuff. Megan Barr guest speaks in this episode for exactly as it sounds. Her God spoke to her loud and clear now she challenges herself to comply. Megan is a sweet soul with a serving heart. She talks about the nonlinear journey of becoming a mature Christian through the analogy of a triangle. God is the top of the triangle and the base is your spouse and children. However, it’s important to remember that that triangle can rotate and still be a triangle. The triangle can be acute, obtuse, or the perfect right angle but it will continue to shift. Megan admits she struggles with obtaining that perfect Christian triangle as she knows she tends to put her family first. But guess what, THAT’S OK!
One day Megan is driving and she hears the loudest, most direct voice in her head telling her to stop and call the number on a vacant store front. She had lightly toyed around with the idea of one day combining her passion of thrifting and serving into an affordable clothing shop for the community, but that was a future goal. This voice was so strong that she did just as it said. She called the number, got the astronomical price of rent, said good day, and continued on. The voice just wouldn’t stop. It was leading her to open a show now.
To Megan there is no other way to explain what she was hearing and feeling other than it was God himself speaking to her. But what was she supposed to do? All the research she had done showed that, yes she could do it. She has the passion, the faith, and entrepreneurial power in her bones but this could financially destroy her family. Finally she asked the most mature Christian she knew, “ What do you do when God is leading you to do something that could wreck you?” The answer was, “ You say YES!”
With lots of time spent researching best options, Megan came across a business called Uptown Cheapskate and it checked all the boxes. Christian roots and serves people in more ways than one. Uptown Cheapskate is an upscale clothing thrift store for young women that offers franchise opportunities where they guide you through the entire process of business planning, training, financial tracking and so much more for a year. All great things, of course for a price. You can read her business plan and progress made on her Go Fund Me page that was created to help with the funds to break ground. This dream isn’t just a way to support her family. It’s a way to support her community in Walton County Georgia. The area does not currently have easy access to affordable clothes. If she can get this store front up and going she will have highly discounted clothing for purchase but also the ability to gift interview clothes, prom dresses, winter coats, to people in the community as needed.
In the meantime she is running an online shop called Sparrow Lily. All items for sale were donated to this cause and all proceedings go towards the goal of a store front. Within a year Megan will have a store brought to the community one way or another.
Her story is incredibly moving when you read and listen to her speak about it so I highly encourage you to check this out further. With its strong religious backing, of course Samantha and Melissa have questions. One of them being, how do you know this is God and not your own personal intuition? Melissa was born and raised Mormon. She made the decision to leave the community in her late 20’s. She remembers hearing and feeling what she believed to be God’s voice, using it as her guide in Christianity. Today Melissa believes that voice to be, and to have always been, her own personal intuition guiding her along the way. She finds peace and beauty in this ability. Just like Megan, Melissa also has a servant heart that she follows in her own ways as much as she can.
Samantha challenges Megan with questions of what it means to be a Christian and who is a Christain. Are Mormons also Christians? From Samantha’s view, one goes to church and you’re told to tithe to serve God and be a Christian. You’re told to love everyone but if they don’t follow the beliefs of the church you are in, they are going to Hell. It doesn’t matter who you help and how you give, you are not a Christian unless you look, feel, and do as you’re told. Samantha isn’t sure that she wants to fit in a box that tight. She doesn’t know that she wants to believe in an eternity where people who do fit in this box celebrate in heaven while those who don’t suffer in a Hell. Why would you want to believe in tiers of Heaven and where you go after death depends on the level of Christian you are? Who’s to judge this? These beliefs feel like the closed mindedness she strives to move away from.
Melissa confirms that Mormons are considered a Christian faith system as many other religions do as well. Megan gracefully rises to the challenge of what being a Christian really is. In her words, it boils down to this; “Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins and have you asked Jesus into your heart?” She says, “ I do NOT believe in disliking or not loving someone because you are of a different faith.” “ There are many different denominations that will meet in Heaven.” She says, “being a Christian business owner is just as secular as it is religious because you can’t run a solely religious business.” She hopes that through her business she can bring people closer to Jesus but it does not affect how she thinks or looks at anyone who crosses her path. She makes it very clear on the Podcast that she wants people to be who they truly are and can only ask to be heard and accepted for who she is.
In Megan’s eyes, the best way to bring people to Jesus is through testimony. Megan shares her deeply personal testimony with all of us in this episode of Skirts Up. Before Megan met her husband she was engaged to another man. Her wedding day was quickly approaching when she found that her fiancé had been unfaithful. She was devastated and immediately called her bridesmaids to cancel their wedding plans. Megan was unable to soothe herself enough for sleep until finally a random blanket of calmness came over her and she slept great. Little did she know, her best friend had posted on social media for prayers of healing to be sent to comfort Megan during a devastating time. Megan believes with her whole heart it was the power of prayers in that moment that gave her the strength and comfort she needed.
Following the canceled engagement, Megan learned of a heart condition she had developed that required operation. She endured these challenges alone, solidifying her decision to end the relationship. Megan knows this was meant to happen all along because she explains how it led her to her current husband, her soulmate. How else would you explain two people who have experienced the same exact heartbreak days before their wedding, found each other?
We encourage you to take a listen to this episode on your favorite listening app as it goes into so much depth on differences of faith. You can also listen right here on our website! Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and leave a review.
Today on Skirts Up Samantha and Melissa share their fail of week per usual, but this time it's a fail as a whole. One had expectations the other had questions, neither things being shared with each other. People who closely know Samantha or have worked with her in the past know that one of her biggest flaws is, to put it simply, expecting people to read her mind through a method of madness. Samantha needs structure and takes it upon herself to create a show outline for each episode. Episodes are never scripted but once there is a topic chosen, Samantha writes out the flow of key points to hit and reminders or suggestions for each speaker. All Melissa knows when she looks at these notes is that she’s the color green. The notes for today’s episode had been created and submitted to Melissa to add notes of her own if she had any so Melissa does just THAT. Picks a spot in the outline and writes all the questions she wants to ask during the episode in green. Except now the outline made no sense and if they went along in that order this conversation would have been a discombobulated dumpster fire.
When Melissa saw the outline before recording she was really confused because her questions had been moved around throughout the outline and most of them were now in black. Melissa was relieved to see that the outline appeared to have direction but was confused on what she was supposed to do in the first place. Don’t you worry though! Everyone now understands how to read and write these notes so that you amazing followers can enjoy listening or reading to all the shenanigans they’ve got in store for you and the positive outcome is strengthening communication.
Now let's get to the good stuff. Megan Barr guest speaks in this episode for exactly as it sounds. Her God spoke to her loud and clear now she challenges herself to comply. Megan is a sweet soul with a serving heart. She talks about the nonlinear journey of becoming a mature Christian through the analogy of a triangle. God is the top of the triangle and the base is your spouse and children. However, it’s important to remember that that triangle can rotate and still be a triangle. The triangle can be acute, obtuse, or the perfect right angle but it will continue to shift. Megan admits she struggles with obtaining that perfect Christian triangle as she knows she tends to put her family first. But guess what, THAT’S OK!
One day Megan is driving and she hears the loudest, most direct voice in her head telling her to stop and call the number on a vacant store front. She had lightly toyed around with the idea of one day combining her passion of thrifting and serving into an affordable clothing shop for the community, but that was a future goal. This voice was so strong that she did just as it said. She called the number, got the astronomical price of rent, said good day, and continued on. The voice just wouldn’t stop. It was leading her to open a show now.
To Megan there is no other way to explain what she was hearing and feeling other than it was God himself speaking to her. But what was she supposed to do? All the research she had done showed that, yes she could do it. She has the passion, the faith, and entrepreneurial power in her bones but this could financially destroy her family. Finally she asked the most mature Christian she knew, “ What do you do when God is leading you to do something that could wreck you?” The answer was, “ You say YES!”
With lots of time spent researching best options, Megan came across a business called Uptown Cheapskate and it checked all the boxes. Christian roots and serves people in more ways than one. Uptown Cheapskate is an upscale clothing thrift store for young women that offers franchise opportunities where they guide you through the entire process of business planning, training, financial tracking and so much more for a year. All great things, of course for a price. You can read her business plan and progress made on her Go Fund Me page that was created to help with the funds to break ground. This dream isn’t just a way to support her family. It’s a way to support her community in Walton County Georgia. The area does not currently have easy access to affordable clothes. If she can get this store front up and going she will have highly discounted clothing for purchase but also the ability to gift interview clothes, prom dresses, winter coats, to people in the community as needed.
In the meantime she is running an online shop called Sparrow Lily. All items for sale were donated to this cause and all proceedings go towards the goal of a store front. Within a year Megan will have a store brought to the community one way or another.
Her story is incredibly moving when you read and listen to her speak about it so I highly encourage you to check this out further. With its strong religious backing, of course Samantha and Melissa have questions. One of them being, how do you know this is God and not your own personal intuition? Melissa was born and raised Mormon. She made the decision to leave the community in her late 20’s. She remembers hearing and feeling what she believed to be God’s voice, using it as her guide in Christianity. Today Melissa believes that voice to be, and to have always been, her own personal intuition guiding her along the way. She finds peace and beauty in this ability. Just like Megan, Melissa also has a servant heart that she follows in her own ways as much as she can.
Samantha challenges Megan with questions of what it means to be a Christian and who is a Christain. Are Mormons also Christians? From Samantha’s view, one goes to church and you’re told to tithe to serve God and be a Christian. You’re told to love everyone but if they don’t follow the beliefs of the church you are in, they are going to Hell. It doesn’t matter who you help and how you give, you are not a Christian unless you look, feel, and do as you’re told. Samantha isn’t sure that she wants to fit in a box that tight. She doesn’t know that she wants to believe in an eternity where people who do fit in this box celebrate in heaven while those who don’t suffer in a Hell. Why would you want to believe in tiers of Heaven and where you go after death depends on the level of Christian you are? Who’s to judge this? These beliefs feel like the closed mindedness she strives to move away from.
Melissa confirms that Mormons are considered a Christian faith system as many other religions do as well. Megan gracefully rises to the challenge of what being a Christian really is. In her words, it boils down to this; “Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins and have you asked Jesus into your heart?” She says, “ I do NOT believe in disliking or not loving someone because you are of a different faith.” “ There are many different denominations that will meet in Heaven.” She says, “being a Christian business owner is just as secular as it is religious because you can’t run a solely religious business.” She hopes that through her business she can bring people closer to Jesus but it does not affect how she thinks or looks at anyone who crosses her path. She makes it very clear on the Podcast that she wants people to be who they truly are and can only ask to be heard and accepted for who she is.
In Megan’s eyes, the best way to bring people to Jesus is through testimony. Megan shares her deeply personal testimony with all of us in this episode of Skirts Up. Before Megan met her husband she was engaged to another man. Her wedding day was quickly approaching when she found that her fiancé had been unfaithful. She was devastated and immediately called her bridesmaids to cancel their wedding plans. Megan was unable to soothe herself enough for sleep until finally a random blanket of calmness came over her and she slept great. Little did she know, her best friend had posted on social media for prayers of healing to be sent to comfort Megan during a devastating time. Megan believes with her whole heart it was the power of prayers in that moment that gave her the strength and comfort she needed.
Following the canceled engagement, Megan learned of a heart condition she had developed that required operation. She endured these challenges alone, solidifying her decision to end the relationship. Megan knows this was meant to happen all along because she explains how it led her to her current husband, her soulmate. How else would you explain two people who have experienced the same exact heartbreak days before their wedding, found each other?
We encourage you to take a listen to this episode on your favorite listening app as it goes into so much depth on differences of faith. You can also listen right here on our website! Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook and leave a review.